WHAT IS IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP OR PROBLEM?
When we talk about Relationship and Problems then it is definately about two human being. We all know humans are social animals. We have been living in a family or group. Where there is more than one human being are involved there is a relationship. And there is no relationship without problems.
Once I had a verbal fight with my colleague at workplace regarding our working style. We had difference of opinion in doing our jobs. I was trying to suggest a better way to do the job. But he was more comfortable with the traditional method.
Since my method was new and may or may not be proved as better option unless and until we give it a try. Hence, he gained some support from other colleagues too.
The discussion went up to verbal fight and he left the place by saying “Hereafter I won’t be talking to you”. Other colleagues were trying to support him in his decision.
I was continuously trying to think about what went wrong from my side. And is it right to stop talking just because of a problem? I approached him at his place and just asked a question. “What is important for you among Relationship and Problem?
He didn’t understand the question. Then I asked “When it comes to select one among Relationship and Problem then what will be your selection?” He said relationship. That was the end of fight and we started to work together again.
What went wrong from my side?
Normally when the fight occurs, we focus on finding other’s mistake and try to hide our mistakes. But when I started thinking about what went wrong from my side then I realized that he was not ready to accept my suggestion and he thought that I was forcing him to accept my suggestion which resulted into his ego hurt.
When I realized this then I got a thought that there was some other better way to convince him. Then my mind automatically started thinking about the other ways.
When we think “I was right, and he was wrong” then our thought process is generated accordingly, and the problems never resolved. But when we think “where I went wrong” then our thought process is generated accordingly and helps in resolving the problem.
Directly went to talk with him.
During our fight there were other colleagues who supported him and trying to express their opinion, which resulted in fueling the fire. During a fight you will find such fueling machines to heat up and enjoy the fight.
Understanding and being calm will give zero chance to such fueling machines. Most of the time the problems are resolved by talking with the person directly.
Since I didn’t want to give space to the problem, I myself went to talk again and it helped in breaking the silence and continue to work together.
Imagine a fight scenario in two different situations.
- Infront of third person/ Persons.
- No third person is available.
The outcome will be different in both scenario even the situations are same.
Key Take away: Relationship and Problems.
- When relationship is important then don’t give space for problems.
- Try to go and talk to the person at least once even you are right, and he is wrong.
- Most often relationships are broken not because of issues but because of ego hurt.
- Best way to extinguish fire is by breaking the fuel supply. Similarly, try to ignore the fueling machines in a fight by keeping yourself calm.
We all know humans are social animals. We have been living in a family. We live together we eat together, we laugh together and ultimately results in Relationship and Problem.
It feels good when we spend time with the one, we love to be with. We always have someone who is our favorite. Isn’t it?
When we have difference of opinion during discussion then there is more chances of shout or fight resulting into yelling at each other.
You can express your opinion by posting in a comment section.
Don’t forget to mention your name and email address. This will help in building relationship network.
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